Excitement

For the first time in a while there is an air of possibility - I've found a job that I just might actually want to do - of course, the question remains as to whether I will actually get it, but there is hope. Hope - something I haven't felt for myself in a while - I just have to make sure it isn't tied to one thing. It's the closest thing to epiphany I have had in a while - I just have to remember that the source of the revelation (it seems a little strange to call it that) is more important than the revelation itself. I'm scared of hoping, of wanting something for fear of disappointment, but this feels so right, so much the direction I want to move in....so HOPE (thank you, miguelito) - maybe I should get a tattoo to remind me as well.

Now I just have to follow through - take the step and the chance - be the words of the song that I once tried to sing before that BSU crowd....

With visible breath, I'm calling your name
With visible tracks, I'm finding my way
With a sorrowful heart, I honor this pain
And offer these tears to the rain

In a moment of truth at the top of the hill
I open my arms and let go of my will

And stand with my face to the wind
With the storm beating down on this sacred ground
If I stand for the grace that I've known
For what I believe
Then I won't stand alone
No I won't stand alone

There's a new pair of eyes to embrace all I see
A new peace of mind and it comes quietly
There's a joy in my heart that you've given to me
And I offer this soul's melody

So I beat on my chest till my song has been sung
And I cry like a wolf at the top of my lungs

And stand with my face to the wind
With the storm beating down on this sacred ground
If I stand for the grace that I've known
For what I believe
Then I won't stand alone
No I won't stand alone

When the thundering voices of doubt try to shake my faith, oh
I'll be listening from inside out and I won't be afraid to

Stand with my face to the wind
With the storm beating down on this sacred ground
If I stand for the grace that I've known
For what I believe
Then I won't stand alone
No I won't stand...I won't stand alone

(Susan Ashton)

God grant me the courage........................this is who I want to be.